BDSM and Writers

"Have my years of wild hedonism finally caught up with me?"

~Leela (Futurama)

I've been doing a lot of reading today and its come to my attention that a lot of writers are delving into the wonderful world of BDSM. However, many writers are lost; asking questions such as where do I start, how do I write this, where do I find reputable information on this subject?

As both a writer and a submissive I thought perhaps I could shed a little light on these blunders.

First of all, google and wikipedia are not always our friends. They show limited examples and explanations with a huge gear towards pain fetishes. BDSM (as I have said many times) has many interpretations. Lets go over the acronyms once more: Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. When using BDSM as a theme we need to remember the many forms it takes and the various types of relationships it can describe.

For example Dom/sub is not as simple as Dom/sub. A Dom can be sadistic or masochistic. He can be a kinkster with a bondage fetish, he can enjoy tying or being tied, he can prefer to cause little physical pain while emotionally draining his sub. Of course this is only the tip of the ice berg so to say.

So my advice here is to read. Read, read, and read some more. It is quite obvious (and forgive me for using this reference) that while the author of the famed 50 Shades trilogy did her research it was limited to what google and wikipedia provided. The story is heavily laden with references (almost direct quotes) from the BDSM wiki links and not much else. If you have read the book and what wikipedia offers you have made this connection already.

Try forums. While we dont have to participate in the conversations the information provided, the problems offered are real, from real people. And the advice is from real, practicing kinksters with experience in the lifestyle.

Secondly, when looking for scene inspiration there is no fault in watching pornographic videos. The way this woman is posed, the way that man walks into the room, the way she begs before he places the gag over her loud mouth... these are all experiences to be watched and referenced for that element of realism when writing. Even the smallest detail derived from a video can make the story that much more.

Lastly, I recommend research into various fetishes and kinks. There is a difference between the two; one is necessary for release while the other is not. The list of kinks and fetishes is numerous and while some are outlandish you may just find your next story lurking deep within those confines.

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